A Short Story, told With Photos...

OMG- I just got invited to a really exclusive party in Tribeca...but what do I have to wear that's cool enough?? It's got to be awesome- all the hippest, richest babies will be there!!

Ok, well, I'll just look in the phone book under "cool clothes"....ok..."clergy", "cooking", "copy machines"....

There's no "cool clothes" in here anywhere! See, this is why I need an Iphone!!

Oh!!! but I have those awesome outfits Gramma sent me in the mail!! YES!!

Tre chic, non?

...Just re-read invite...says 'formal attire only'....*sigh*....

Aw screw it, I'll just go nekkid!

Oooh, but....is that over-the-top??? I mean, what is the statement I'm making here??

I've got it!! I'll wear my tutu! Very Sarah Jessica Parker!

OMG, I am going to be the talk of this party!!

Lemme just fluff this thing up a bit...get it really poofy...

Yeah, yeah....this could totally work...

Hmm...But is it too Sarah Jessica Parker....

...and by so blatantly referencing pop culture do I risk looking gauche and/or like a victim of TV indoctrination...

Crap. This is SO NOT WORKING....

What am I going to do?? The party is in like an hour!!!

Forget this. I'm just gonna eat cookies on the couch!

....despair....even Elmo can't cheer me up...

....life is a black hole of sadness....

EMMY?!!

WHAT?? "Those people aren't fit to lick my feet?" What do you mean Emmy?

Aw Emmy, you're the best. And you're totally right. Why should I let some lame-o hipsters define me??

Man, I feel like a new woman. Forget that stupid snobby party. I think I'm gonna relax in a nice hot tub.

I march to the beat of my own drum. I revel in my individuality!

I am a centered, zen-like person.

But seriously...what am I gonna wear to that gallery opening next week?...