Doc apt yesterday. Guess what? All the walking (5+ miles this weekend), pregnancy salad eating, Red Raspberry Leaf tea drinking, and various other "labor-inducing" shenanigans I've been partaking of have done NOTHING. NADDA. ZILCH-O. I am not dialated, not effaced, and pretty much closed like a sad lonely GM plant in the rust belt. So now my doc wants to talk about induction. Basically, her idea is let's do it on Monday, June 8th. So birth about 3-4 days after my due date. And we. are. mind-screwed.
See, I know like 'natural is best', 'let her come when she's ready', blah blah bliggety blah. But this kid is getting bigger and bigger....so if I wait we could end up w/ a c-section. Aint so much nature involved in that, huh? They only do the inductions on Mondays and Tuesdays each week- so if we don't go on the 8th or 9th, we are into the 42nd week...And after 42 weeks risk starts to go up (aging placenta, meconium in amnio fluid, some increase in stillbirth rate). So to me, like why not just do it and get it done? But then am I jumping the gun? You see how my mind chases itself like a dog after it's own tail?
And then there's the part of me that just wants to be done. Cause I want my baby and I want to not be pregnant anymore and I can't sleep and I walk around like a zombie. And while that's no reason to induce, it's hard to seperate the desire from making the decision. Argh.
I know this much- I will do whatever is ultimately best for Gwendolyn. I just don't know what that is....