I love it when I am reminded of why I married my mister. (It's because he is an awesome, awesome man).
Case in point. He was riding home on the subway yesterday at rush hour. It was standing room only, and barely that, with people packed in like sardines. He heard this baby screaming- not crying, but just shrieking repeatedly in that way babies do when they find out they have voices and decide to practice with them. I know this sound well, and it kind of makes you want to shove a screwdriver in your ear when you are not on a crowded train, so I can imagine this atmosphere. He kept hearing this woman say "shhh....shhh" quietly to the baby, and noticed there was also a little boy of about 5, getting more and more keyed up and loud as well.
Then he saw the owner of said baby and boy stand up from the baby carriage where she was trying to hush the screamer. "Honey, she reminded me so much of you", said fitzhubby, as he related all this to me last night. "She just had that look of trying so hard and coming within two seconds of losing her shit- I have seen that exact look on your face at 3:30 in the morning!" (I chose not to take offense to this- I know what he meant). She was "white knuckling" the support bar of the train. So my hubby reached over and patted her arm and said "Hey. It's ok! Don't worry about us. It's fine. You're doing a great job." This poor girl looked over at him and just burst into tears. She actually hugged hubby (this is an NY subway, people) and was so grateful that someone simply understood. My hubs explained that we have a baby too, and that sometimes you just have to accept they will not be great in public and "set it free".
Meanwhile, when my husband said "Don't worry about us." some douche behind him actually snorted in disgust. Gav turned and gave a look over his shoulder but couldn't decide who the scoffer was so he didn't say anything. They chatted about parenthood, etc, and finally the chick's stop came up. Gav told her little boy to help his mom with the groceries and get his coat on- the kid listened way more when it was a male stranger telling him what to do, and in my experience small boys love to be put in the capacity of "helper" rather than "additional child driving me crazy".
So as the chick is trying to get her children and groceries and stroller off the train before the doors close, this guy, mid-fourties in an expensive suit with his briefcase and coat on the floor of the subway, nose buried in a Kindle (a very likely candidate for the aforementioned scoffer), is blocking her way, and either ignoring or not hearing the woman's "Excuse me, sir"s.
Here's where Gav raises his awesomeness to a whole new level. He said "Dude, can you move for the lady?" and when the guy actually ROLLED HIS EYES(!!) Gav took his foot and nonchalantly swept the guys stuff to one side. He helped the lady get off the train, and as she was going, said to her little boy "See, there's two ways you can be. Don't grow up to be like that guy!". And off they went.
As he turned back to the train, douchey actually says "No one talks to me that way!" Gav says "I just did. If you want to further discuss it, I get off at the next stop." Whereupon douchey was suddenly back in his Kindle (seriously, how do you pull out the "No one talks to me that way" and then back down?? Perhaps he was just voicing an obeservation...). On his way off the train, hubby's parting words were- "Well, we're at my stop. You coming?" to which there was no response, predictably.
Now, I know, this was all a little over the top, and likely a direct result of Gavin being a new dad and uber sensitive to the plight of new parents w/ loud babies in small places (can we say THREE cross country flights in 60 days??). But I have never been so proud that my husband is a good, good person, who isn't afraid to stand up for people who are at the end of their rope. Kudos, dear. And to his parents, who sometimes read this blog, you done good raising that boy. I can only hope I do as well with our kids.
1.01.2010
Resolved
So now for the traditional posting of New Year's resolutions!!
1.Get a handle on what I want to do career-wise. This is the biggy. I need to get focused and truly decide what I'd like to do for the next 30 years and then do it. Oh, if only someone would ring my bell like the Publisher's Clearing House crew and present me with a career in the arts that is fulfilling, flexible, and lucrative, while making a difference to disenfranchized youth and/or animals. Or, you know, they could just drop off the 10 Million dollar check. Either way.
2. Eat more vegetables. S'riously. I am all about carbos lately. I think it's the breastfeeding- once that's over and I'm not burning the extra calories if I keep on the way I've been I'll turn into a soft doughy ball. And then I'd want to eat myself, because of the aforementioned love of carbos.
3. Spend more time with my dogs. It's hard, with a Gwendy who demands so much attention. But I need more walks and cuddles with my fur-children. Even if sometimes I want to throttle Emmy with both hands, like tonight when she ate her kibbies too fast and then vomed it in six different puddles on my dining room carpet. Easy-to-clean kitchen floor? No vom. Light colored carpet? Vom City, USA.
That's all. I mean, there are more I'd like to add, like learn at least a little guitar or keyboard and become better organized and save money. But lets be reals- I have a lot on my plate right now, and three is a very manageable and realistic number of goals. So let's just see how I do with those and if by say March I am a vegetable eating, dog cuddling Acting Writing Director, I'll revise the list. K? K.
1.Get a handle on what I want to do career-wise. This is the biggy. I need to get focused and truly decide what I'd like to do for the next 30 years and then do it. Oh, if only someone would ring my bell like the Publisher's Clearing House crew and present me with a career in the arts that is fulfilling, flexible, and lucrative, while making a difference to disenfranchized youth and/or animals. Or, you know, they could just drop off the 10 Million dollar check. Either way.
2. Eat more vegetables. S'riously. I am all about carbos lately. I think it's the breastfeeding- once that's over and I'm not burning the extra calories if I keep on the way I've been I'll turn into a soft doughy ball. And then I'd want to eat myself, because of the aforementioned love of carbos.
3. Spend more time with my dogs. It's hard, with a Gwendy who demands so much attention. But I need more walks and cuddles with my fur-children. Even if sometimes I want to throttle Emmy with both hands, like tonight when she ate her kibbies too fast and then vomed it in six different puddles on my dining room carpet. Easy-to-clean kitchen floor? No vom. Light colored carpet? Vom City, USA.
That's all. I mean, there are more I'd like to add, like learn at least a little guitar or keyboard and become better organized and save money. But lets be reals- I have a lot on my plate right now, and three is a very manageable and realistic number of goals. So let's just see how I do with those and if by say March I am a vegetable eating, dog cuddling Acting Writing Director, I'll revise the list. K? K.
12.26.2009
All is Calm, All is Bright
To be frank, a big part of me dreaded this Christmas- my dad was so completely plugged into this holiday. First, tradition for as long as I can remember had us with him on Christmas Eve at a big family party where we'd exchange our gifts and eat too much and stay up too late. And then, since my Dad was never one to say no to fun whenever and wherever he could find it, he'd crash Mom's on Christmas Day, pulling up in his rusty truck with a wreath lashed to the bumper. It always amused all of us, my mom in particular, how it never even crossed his mind that his ex wife of more than 20 years would mind him turning up during the cake/coffee party of the evening. And the magic of it was we'd all end up having an awesome time, playing board games and laughing more than should be legally allowed.
And on top of the Christmas-specific memories associated with my Dad, New York in general seems haunted with him. When I was in LA, it was not abnormal to not see him- he didn't live in California. But now that I'm home, every tree and street corner and store front is fraught and festooned with my Dad- here's where he used to get his bagels, here's where he got into a fight over a parking space with some lady, here's where he took me to learn how to drive and on and on and on. So reality has been creeping in. And Christmas seemed like just one more giant reminder that he's not here.
But then there's this lovely symmetry. As my Dad leaves us, Gwen enters. And somehow, seeing all her firsts takes some of the sting out of the things that were his last. Whenever I found myself foundering these past few days, I was able to find an anchor in that little elfin face with its chubby cheeks and oddly wise smile.
And so Christmas somehow managed to be Christmas, and I was able, after all, to count my blessings and look to the new year with anticipation and hope.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Thanks for being you.
Pics!
Meeting the Big Red Dude:
Many generations of children have posed on these steps!
With Uncle Joe:
And on top of the Christmas-specific memories associated with my Dad, New York in general seems haunted with him. When I was in LA, it was not abnormal to not see him- he didn't live in California. But now that I'm home, every tree and street corner and store front is fraught and festooned with my Dad- here's where he used to get his bagels, here's where he got into a fight over a parking space with some lady, here's where he took me to learn how to drive and on and on and on. So reality has been creeping in. And Christmas seemed like just one more giant reminder that he's not here.
But then there's this lovely symmetry. As my Dad leaves us, Gwen enters. And somehow, seeing all her firsts takes some of the sting out of the things that were his last. Whenever I found myself foundering these past few days, I was able to find an anchor in that little elfin face with its chubby cheeks and oddly wise smile.
And so Christmas somehow managed to be Christmas, and I was able, after all, to count my blessings and look to the new year with anticipation and hope.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Thanks for being you.
Pics!
Meeting the Big Red Dude:
Many generations of children have posed on these steps!
With Uncle Joe:
12.18.2009
Sleep that knits up the raveled sleeve of care...
At the risk of jinxing it, a miracle has happened. And that miracle is my baby has decided for the first time in about 3 months to sleep for more than 2 hours, consecutively. Seriously, folks, at one point this kid woke up every hour on the hour ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I don't know if you've ever been truly sleep deprived, my friends, but add to it the grieving process, and woah Nellie, that's some crappy headspace.
Most of her sleep issues began at about 3 1/2 months, when, not coincidentally, we were in New York while my dad was sick, and bouncing from house to house. So no duh, kids are sensitive creatures and all that drama and change manifested in a need for her to be comforted by me 10 times a night. I didn't begrudge her that- but I needed/need sleep to like, function. So yeah, this is a good- no, AMAZING- development that is the culmination of a lot of work on Gav's and my part, as well as being finally settled in one place.
Last night, I slept six straight hours. It was so uncannily wonderful I literally woke with a SMILE on my face for the 4:30 feeding.
Also, I love our little Brooklyn house. Love it love it love it. It's a temporary thing (my family will sell it eventually) but while it's mine I love every quirky nook and cranny. I even love the HIDEOUS gray and pink tiled bathroom with the fucia and green metallic wallpaper. (Seriously, I must post a pic this week for you.) I put up Christmas lights outside and a big tree and hung all our photos and it really feels like home after living out of a suitcase for 3 months.
This will be a hard holiday season for me- there's no getting past that fact. But with a little sleep under my belt, and this small oasis of normalcy we are living in, I know my little family will find some joy in it as well.
Most of her sleep issues began at about 3 1/2 months, when, not coincidentally, we were in New York while my dad was sick, and bouncing from house to house. So no duh, kids are sensitive creatures and all that drama and change manifested in a need for her to be comforted by me 10 times a night. I didn't begrudge her that- but I needed/need sleep to like, function. So yeah, this is a good- no, AMAZING- development that is the culmination of a lot of work on Gav's and my part, as well as being finally settled in one place.
Last night, I slept six straight hours. It was so uncannily wonderful I literally woke with a SMILE on my face for the 4:30 feeding.
Also, I love our little Brooklyn house. Love it love it love it. It's a temporary thing (my family will sell it eventually) but while it's mine I love every quirky nook and cranny. I even love the HIDEOUS gray and pink tiled bathroom with the fucia and green metallic wallpaper. (Seriously, I must post a pic this week for you.) I put up Christmas lights outside and a big tree and hung all our photos and it really feels like home after living out of a suitcase for 3 months.
This will be a hard holiday season for me- there's no getting past that fact. But with a little sleep under my belt, and this small oasis of normalcy we are living in, I know my little family will find some joy in it as well.
12.11.2009
A day in the life...
I have oodles to tell you of my own life, the move, etc. But I'd rather post a crapload of cute pictures since my energy is little to non-existent. So:
If Gwendy appeared in Vogue with one of those artsy "day in the life" photos shoots, it'd go something like this:
We have reached the necessary milestones to begin introducing solid foods. Here we are with organic sweet potatoes from the fine people at Gerber:
If Gwendy appeared in Vogue with one of those artsy "day in the life" photos shoots, it'd go something like this:
We have reached the necessary milestones to begin introducing solid foods. Here we are with organic sweet potatoes from the fine people at Gerber:
When we are thru dining, we find it most relaxing to soak in a nice hot bubble bath. Aunt Joy's kitchen sink is de rigeur for the ultimate in pampered luxury:
Our evenings are spend musing under the Christmas tree, deciding what we will ask Santa for. Will it be the Fisher Price crib Aquarium? A doll? A wad of wrapping paper to stuff in our mouth?? Who knows?
Our evenings are spend musing under the Christmas tree, deciding what we will ask Santa for. Will it be the Fisher Price crib Aquarium? A doll? A wad of wrapping paper to stuff in our mouth?? Who knows?
Ladies, if your velvet Christmas bonnet doesn't fit over your own ample noggin, don't fret- just outfit your dog. Lovely, non?
Finally, we simply bask in the glow of our own loveliness. Make sure you take time to bask in your own loveliness too!
11.28.2009
Full Circle
Back in New York, and here to stay. It's been a wild ride, America, but I daresay barring any major shifts in the sands of life (which I never, never count out, especially these days) I am home now. And I must say, once all the stress and pressure and madness ebbs, I think I'm going to be pretty damn happy to put down some roots here- or just graft onto my old ones... That's all- just wanted to post on the actual day Gwendy and I landed (Fitzhusband to follow via great exodus with dogs cross country this week. Thank God for his dad, who's coming with). Now, to tend to my jet-lagged baby!
11.21.2009
The Perfect Baby
Strange but true, my baby is utterly perfect. Yes, she wakes me up at ungodly hours every night, and she has incredibly stinky gas, but every time I look at her, my heart does cartwheels. My capacity to love her seems bottomless and helps me to understand all sorts of things I never got before about parents and children.
And every day she learns more and more. This week it's been all about the dogs- she sees them and gets this delighted expression on her face and chortles like a happy little squirrel. If one of them licks her fingers she cracks up to beat the band. It makes me happy to see my human-child and fur children so copacetic.
In other news, we are moving back to New York in only a few short days (!). Most everyone who reads this blog knows all about it, but suffice it to say it feels like an important time to be there as my family deals with Dad's passing. There are other reasons to go, of course, but that is the one most prominant in our minds at the moment.
It is breaking our hearts to leave our California family though. I layed awake for hours last night, struggling with the whole conundrum- one that's plagued us ever since we started dating. If only we could be in two places at once. Or, if only our families would decided to move to one central location- say, Hawaii?? :) A pretty lucky problem to have, though- having two such amazing families that you want to be with both...
Here's some fancy-dancer camera shots. I am getting slowly used to it and it's many ridiculous features. I think I have named her Charlotte, since she is black like a spider and friendly like the one from the book.
And every day she learns more and more. This week it's been all about the dogs- she sees them and gets this delighted expression on her face and chortles like a happy little squirrel. If one of them licks her fingers she cracks up to beat the band. It makes me happy to see my human-child and fur children so copacetic.
In other news, we are moving back to New York in only a few short days (!). Most everyone who reads this blog knows all about it, but suffice it to say it feels like an important time to be there as my family deals with Dad's passing. There are other reasons to go, of course, but that is the one most prominant in our minds at the moment.
It is breaking our hearts to leave our California family though. I layed awake for hours last night, struggling with the whole conundrum- one that's plagued us ever since we started dating. If only we could be in two places at once. Or, if only our families would decided to move to one central location- say, Hawaii?? :) A pretty lucky problem to have, though- having two such amazing families that you want to be with both...
Here's some fancy-dancer camera shots. I am getting slowly used to it and it's many ridiculous features. I think I have named her Charlotte, since she is black like a spider and friendly like the one from the book.
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